Gym Rat!
i swore i'd never be a gym rat but nw i'm finding that i have no choice! i have to start training for the fire fit challenge which is incredibly demanding. i think that it would be a great experience though i love pushing myself to the limit physically and my passion is firefighting so the combat challenge is very exciting to me! you can watch some clips of it at
http://www.firefit.com/index.htm Just click on the pictures in the middle of the page! It looks like so much fun! the guys make it look so much easier than the women though!

i guess i'll have to give in and go to a smelly sweaty gym afterall! but i won't like it and i'll still pound the pavement every chance i get!

College! i went today for an early college info for the Pre-Service firefighting program. It was awesome! there were 100 of us there. The 100 that were there were the top prospects for the program! i feel pretty good about it i'm really excited! i can't wait to hear if i get accepted. the only downfall.... of the 100 that were there they will only pick 22 people! i only have a 1 in 5 chance of getting in!

Help?....

Cole's blog about valentines day has gotten me into somewhat of a panic! I don't have a clue what to do for James! i really need to do something special though. Agfter all he recently has quit smoking for me and he always surprises me with things. Like when he went away this past week for work he brought me home a shirt... but the shirt had a moose on it! i love moose! So i really want to do something super special for him but i'm not sure what boys like for those kinds of occasions. Any suggestions?
thanks!

only the good go for no reason!

anyone who lives in Baden probably knew Harley Herner and his wife. Lastnight he and his wife were killed in a car accident on Highway 86. why did it have to happen to them? He was the sweetest old man ever! growing up i have so many memories with him. He came into see me at work every day and every day he had a new story and a new lesson for me to take in. He was so wise and he always gave the best advice.

This morning while i was at work and i looked at the clock i realised that it was 8:15. It was so weird. Harley has come in every day since Teddy's opened for his coffee at 7:00. It was so weird. I thought that it was just the weather. Maybe he was just going to stay at home because the roads are bad. It was almost ten when i heard the news. A lady from CTV came in and wanted to ask questions about Harley as they were doing a story on his life and his wife.

I thought i was going to be sick. my heart stopped i swear. how can this be happening? Why is it happening? Why them? why is it starting all over again?

i don't know what to do. What do i think? Who's next? what do i do? what do i say? How do i make this stop? how can i sleep at night? How do i live my life like a normal person when it just keeps starting over and over again? Why is it always the most wonderful, most lov ed people in the world who are taken away from us for no reason? There's no way of justifying why these things happen... that's why it's so hard i suppose. keep everyone so close and tell them that you care because it's so sudden that they can be gone forever.

Is there something wrong with me?

I don't cry! I don't cry ever!
the past few months have been hell! i cry every day and i can't help it! I miss Kyla so much! I don't know how to deal with it i don't know what to do. I saw mrs K today. She came to see me at work. She gave me the biggest longest hug ever and i didn't want her to ever let go. i've missed her so much! She looked me in the eye and said that she loves me and that she'll always be with me. We're going to go out together for a day together just like old times on Friday. i am really excited but i'm also so scared! I want so much to be strong to just be able to come to terms with the fact that Ky's gone but i can't do it!I still sometimes swear that i hear her voice or i see someone that looks like her and for just that second it seems alright again until reality comes back and knocks me on my ass for the hundredth time that day. It's just over 2 months since Kyla died and the world just seems to have forgotten. Every one carries on like they don't even realize that she's gone. How. How can you do that? I never want to forget i will always think about kyla every day of my life but i don't want to be in this much pain every day for ever. How do i do it? How do i accept that i've lost my best friend, my team mate, my sister, my shoulder that i cried on, the only person that knows my entire life story has been there through it all, and loved me every day no matter what, and wasn't afraid to tell me so.

i don't know what to do... i don't know where to turn.
i 'm falling apart and the one person i need more than anything in the world is the reason i'm going through this.

Don't ever forget.... don't ever think it can't happen to you or someone close to you. It happens all too fast, and only the memories you have will get you through. The last words i said to kyla are what've got me this far. The last thing i said to her was "I love you "

SNOW!!!!!!

We have snow finally! It's so exciting!!!! I loooove it sooooooo much!
Braaaap! Braaaap! (that's the official sound of a snow mobile for those non- sledders out there who probably weren't losing any sleep over the lack of snow)

Anyways i hope you are all happy about the wonderful white stuff! maybe we'll get enough to get a s**w d*y! (don't freak! i didn't say it!) So go to sleep tonight and do a snow dance, and if it's snowing outside don't look outside until the morning! Peeking is just as bad as saying those two woderful words!!