By now you all know what happened to Kyla. I think that this has been the hardest few days of my life. It hit me hard when i found out Monday night... i stayed up all night crying but until i came to school Tuesday morning i had no idea how hard i would take it.

Kyla was a part of my life since i can remember. She was co captain with me on the soccer field, my favourite person to officiate with, and one of my best friends. Even now 3 days later i haven't stopped crying. i can't sleep i can't eat, i can't seem to do anything but cry. Probably none of you have ever seen me cry because it's something i don't do, but anyone who was near me on Tuesday saw an entirely different side of me. I was falling apart. I couldn't stop shaking, i couldn't talk, move, anything. i scared the crap out of Mrs Monteith and to tell you the truth i'm still scaring the crap out of myself. I've always been the strong one who helps everyone else in these situations, but now when i need someone to hold me together there's no one in sight.

I don't know how i'm going to do it. I don't know if i can step out on the soccer field with my team knowing that Kyla isn't right behind me. This past year Kyla and i battled the same knee injury. When it came time for soccer we both had to choose whether to play or not. i chose to play and Kyla sat the season out but was always on the sidelines cheering us on. One game in particular stands out for me. I wasa on the field and got slide tackled from behind by a defender on the other team. I went down and i went down hard. My knee crumbled underneath me i was in trouble. As soon as the whistle blew Kyla came running across the field crying and trying to make me step out of the game. i wouldn't do it. I got up and kyla wouldn't let go of my shirt. She wanted me off that field. Reluctantly a teary eyed and very worried friend stood at the bench and watched me hobble around the field. Everytime a whistle would blow she would ask me to please take a knee... Please step out even for a few minutes of the game. I don't exactly remember what happened next. I remember charging the net and from what i understand got caught up in a cambridge girls vs Crystal sandwich. I opened my eyes to kyla helping carry me of the field. She wanted to come to the hospital she wanted to be by my side every second. It could've been her in my shoes. She was always the mommy of our team making sure everyone stretched properly and drank lots. That's just the amazing person she was.

I don't know how i'm going to do it... i don't know much of anything right now.

my keyboard is soaked of tears and i'm shaking so bad that i can hardly type. i guess i just want to say that you should always tell people how much they mean to you because you never know when you may never see them again. The last time i saw Kyla was the day before her surgery. She came to me almost in tears and said that she was so scared and no one would understand but me ( we're in the same boat). I gave her a hug, told her that everything would be fine. told her to call me if she needed anything, and that the minute she was out of bed she should start kicking a soccer ball around becaused i needed her on that field in a few months.
I gave her one last hug and said "ky, im' here with you forever. I'll be here if you need anything at all, don't hesitate to call me. i love you ky, good luck!"

I can't believe that i'll never hear her voice again. Never again will i recieve that perfect long ball and send it deep into the net, never again will i see my Ky.

I love you Ky