Happy holiday's everyone! I hope you all had a wonderful day! I got spoiled... i hope santa brought you all exactly what you wanted.

Just thinking... this year i didn't give anyone any ideas of what to buy me and i think it was the best christmas yet. Every gift was a surprise and i got so many cool things that i wouldn't have even thought to ask for.

from now on all i want is surprise gifts for christmas.

well, gotta run! CHEERS!

--crys--

Man i feel so old! Zoe... my bosses daughter... like my little sister is growing up so fast! I can't believe it! She's already 5 years old and she's getting so tall she comes up to my arm pit when she stands beside me. Today she sat with me while i ate lunch and finished colmer's stupid biotech assignment! She asks so many questions! She was asking me about what i want to be "when i grow up" and then she asked me a lot about when she was a baby. She asked me all sorts of questins like how big she was and if i remember when she was born. I was very honest i told her that i was there every step of the way that i was with her before even her aunts and uncles were. She asked if she was cute... i told her she was more than just cute... she was absolutely beautiful. Then she asked about if i held her all the time. This was when it kind of hit me... I'm afraid of babies!!! seriously laugh if you want but i can't touch them, i especially can't hold them! i don't know what it is i just get teriffied! so i told her that i didn't hold her but i was with her all the time. she was kind of upset... she was like well why? why didn't you hold me? Didn't you like me? MY HEART BROKE!!! i love her more than anything in lthe world! i spend all my spare time with her! I go to take her out on my lunches from school. I feel like a big giant piece of crap! i don't want to miss out on any other part of her life! i need to spend more time with her with more memories because time's flying and life is short and soon enough she's going to be all grown up and she's not going to be my baby girl any more!

I can't wait for christmas! She's getting a brand new dirtbike! It's a 50cc racing stock KTM and it's set up for her weight and height exactly! i bought her new gear! Pink FOX jersey and gloves! i can't wait till christmas comes soi i can throw her bike in the back of the truck and take her out to the farm to tear around with me! She really is like her big sister... everyone says that! She's following in my footsteps pretty solidly right now i just hope now she can do better on the circuit than me this year and bring home some serious hardware.... maybe pick up some sweet sponsors! YAY!!!!

Crazy deer! Wow, last night i was driving out to Drumbo and i'm just cruising along when all of a sudden a deer jumps out infront of me. And then it just stands there and looks at me. So i hit my brakes pretty hard and the deer jumps out of the way. Ok... so i'm fine then like ten minutes later another one does the same thoing on the exact same road! WHAT THE HELL! so once again i'm on my way a bit more cautious now. I get to the farem walk into the house say hi to everyone and grab a helmet and keys to the quad. So i take off for probably 35-40 mins and then i decide to turn back because i'm cold ( ya i'm a whimp... that's beside the point!) so i'm flying along across the field when these three deer jump out of lthe bush right infront of me! I'm on a frickin' two stroke it's not like they couldn't have heard me coming like ten miles in advance! I've never seen anything like it before! 5 deer all in one night all just hoping to get run over! weird! so needless to say... i drove so slow on my way home... and thankfully didn't see anymore suicidal deer! Why do they do that? Why jump out infront of me? Why not just run away? AARGGH!!! I hate deer

i need some advice. i was doing my christmas cards today and i always send one to kyla and her family. so why should this year be any different... my predicament... i feel that i should put kyla's name on the card but some people think that's a bad idea. i don't know what to do. i think that i should because even though Kyla's not with us anymore she's still a part of the family. i don't know what to do... i don't want to be disrespectful. What do you guys think i should do?

So, i'm oficially graduated highschool now... it feels so weird. It's like you always see it on movies and stuff but now it actually happened to me. i feel so... old... it's just like now what? college i guess... that's always been the plan. huh, i don't know how to describe the feeling... i feel different but yet not different at all. i can't describe it. it was so nice to see everyone again though, all the people that i lost touch with when they went away to college or university. it was a great night. all except for the dorky hats that we had to wear.

this week's been so busy! Tuesday James and i went christmas shopping...AND I"M DONE! yay! then we went out on his quad. It was so fun but then i laid out the dirtbike pretty solidly. My helmet's all scratched up and i cracked the visor almost completely off! but... i wouldn't go back and change it for the world. I love the adrenaline and it's so fun. Besides everytime i've ever crashed i just tell myself "bones heal, guys dig scars!" that and "Ride it like you stole it or it's not worth doing," are my motto's for life.

so then whatever, i put the bike back in the drivingshed, and hit the trails on the other quad. All in all an awesome day! and i couldn't ask for better weather!

Ooh, and i got a derby car so it's in storage for the winter and in the spring i'll fix it all up and all of you guys can see me line Becker up HUGE! i'm pumped!

lastnight i got a new cell phone! it's one of those 10/4 phones andthat's cool but James put it in his business account stuff so he's paying for it and i feel kinda' weird about that. I don't want him to have to pay for my phone, but he insists and he won't take no for an answer. so i guess... sweet i got a new phone.

Commencement is tonight! it's so weird to think that i'm graduated! weird!
well, later!